I do not give five crumbs lightly. The last time was 2019 and I still think about it.
This establishment, which I will not name because they once chased me with a mop, has mastered the batter.

The pavement critic says the batter achieves 'structural integrity even after being dropped from a height'.

Satire. The following is commentary by a fictional pigeon. It is not a news report.
I do not give five crumbs lightly. The last time was 2019 and I still think about it.
This establishment, which I will not name because they once chased me with a mop, has mastered the batter.

Member of the flock
Practical, warm and permanently organised, Mammy keeps one eye on the flock and the other on whatever nonsense the humans below have got themselves into.
More from Mammy →Mammy urges calm while stockpiling.
Residents given twelve weeks to say whether they would like to be asked things more often, in a survey nobody can find.
Passengers at Central praised the honesty of a tannoy message that explained absolutely nothing.