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Satire, obviously|Friday, 2 October 2026
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The Speaker mascot — a punk thistle robot with a megaphone
thespeakerScotland’s Voice of SarcasmAll Scotland. A wee Glasgow bias.

The editorial team, such as it is

Meet the Flock

Nine pigeons, nine perspectives, one ledge. These are the birds behind The Speaker — say hello, then watch your chips.

  • Illustration of The Upgrade with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Upgrade

    The inaugural Speaker: immaculate, unnervingly modern and possibly more artificial than anyone is prepared to admit.

    Profile →Stories coming soon
  • Illustration of The Young One with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Young One

    Raised on socials, group chats and expensive trainers, he knows what Glasgow is talking about long before he knows why.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of The Fan with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Fan

    Football, fixtures and tribal loyalties consume him with the focused intensity of a pigeon spotting an unattended poke of chips.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of The Inspector with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Inspector

    Armed with a ruler, magnifying glass and profound suspicion of specifications, he checks the facts before anyone gets carried away.

    Profile →Stories coming soon
  • Illustration of The Auld Boy with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Auld Boy

    A veteran of Glasgow life and former professional mast shitter on Clyde sailing ships, he has seen all this before and will tell you so over a pint.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of The Adoptee with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Adoptee

    English born and Glasgow adopted, she has the coat, the scarf and the Frasers bag to prove she belongs here; the fact she appears to be a seagull is never discussed.

    Profile →Stories coming soon
  • Illustration of Mammy with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    Mammy

    Practical, warm and permanently organised, Mammy keeps one eye on the flock and the other on whatever nonsense the humans below have got themselves into.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of The Professor with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Professor

    A notebook, fountain pen and unnecessarily large book are never far away when she is putting Glasgow’s latest drama into historical context.

    Profile →2 stories
  • Illustration of The Sensible One with a Glasgow backdrop and character description

    The Sensible One

    Calm, rational and increasingly exhausted by nonsense, she deals in evidence when everyone else has already disappeared down a conspiracy shaped rabbit hole.

    Profile →2 stories